Food, Recipes, Weightloss

A good weird

Even though I’m only five days into my summer weight loss journey, I feel like there’s so much I could talk about. So in order to keep this post focused, let’s just discuss food for today.

Cutting out junk food really feels like a cleanse. Of course I’ve been drinking more water, snacking on fruit, and eating smaller portions, but what has been so significant is making the distinction between wanting to stuff my face and actually being hungry. I had become so used to regularly allowing myself things like pizza, burgers and ice cream, so now it feels kind of weird restricting those foods again. But it’s a good weird. It feels good to make healthy choices at restaurants and pack myself a healthy lunch to take to work. And It gives me a reason to come up with and try new recipes.

Since I remembered having Continue reading

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Weightloss

It’s all about balance

 

I hope you all had a Happy Halloween.

There I said it.

Please don’t criminalize me, I did my part. I carved that pumpkin up there, for one thing. I put on my red devil horns and tramped around town in the pouring rain. Now that that’s finally over with, I’d like to shift your focus on to the quickly approaching Thanksgiving, which ultimately is a sign that it’s CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!!!!

Excuse my enthusiasm, but I just can’t understand how anyone can find mediocrity in days like these: waking up to the smell of sausages sizzling in a skillet, delivering diverse cookie plates to my closest friends’ doorsteps, circling around the table in pursuit of our prey–a seafood feast made complete by Mom’s all-bran roles. You might notice that all of these events involve stuffing my face.

My whole year revolves around Christmas, or rather Christmas Eve (I like the anticipation). If every day were Christmas Eve, I would be the happiest of campers.

In my small family of three, Christmas is a big effing deal. We don’t waste time getting a tree, although we do spend an awful lot of time picking one out. Last year, we spent about 4 hours, went to three different farms, and criticized more Christmas trees than is probably healthy–for us or the trees.  Too tall, too small, too fat, too lop-sided, and too perfect are all serious issues that we mow over each year until we find the right one. And even after all that trouble, the poor tree will inevitably end up getting a haircut in the middle of our living room. Then it’s time to do the lights and the ornaments, and that’s just a whole new ballgame.

So as you can see, we take a lot of pride in the details of our Christmas, and making sure that we are consistent in our traditions. My priorities are mainly that we get the perfect tree, rearrange the presents on a weekly basis, make lots of Christmas cookies, and have our seafood feast on Christmas Eve.

Here’s the conflict: I want to lose a sizable amount of weight in time for my mom’s wedding in Maui on January 22nd. However, I refuse to deprive myself completely of the joys of Christmas…namely, eating treats. So my plan for my next goal, which I will announce in a mere moment, will begin today on November 1st. In this plan I will not swear off any foods (besides the obvious) until after December 25th. (I know that this sounds like it goes against my title of No Moore Muffins, but bear with me.)

My goal is three fold: 1) To not gain one pound of holiday weight. 2) To lose at least 15 pounds before January 16th. (I would just like to note that I initially put 12 pounds, but changed my mind. Losing 15 would mean I was the smallest size of my life). 3) To feel comfortable — not just fine–being photographed in a bikini.

And there you have it. I am going to be losing weight while simultaneously eating Christmas cookies. I know it sounds insane, but I have a pretty specific tactic of how I’m going to manage my holiday needs while still getting results. I figure if I allow myself just a couple holiday treats a week and balance that with extra cardio and strength, I can indulge while still getting beach-ready.

It’s all about balance.

  • I will workout every day, 6 days a week, alternating and combining strength, cardio and yoga. I want to be toned.
  • I will be on a low-carb diet in general, and eating mostly fruits, veggies, and protein.
  • For every day that I have a Holiday treat I will workout extra hard. (The only exception to this rule is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.)
  • On days that I have more than one Holiday treat, I must workout twice, no exceptions.
  • After Christmas, I will have a little less than a month to be freed of cookie season. The dates between December 26th and January 22nd will be treat-free.
  • I will weigh myself at the beginning of each month. If my results are not where they should be at the beginning of December, I will need to adjust in one way or another.
  • The key to this is to enjoy small amounts of Christmas goodies. Small portions, diligent and diverse workouts, and controlled decision making. I will be calmly tasting the cake, if you will, for the next two months. There’s no need to eat 7 cookies, when I can just have one or two in a calm fashion and enjoy them just the same.

I’m now double excited for the Holiday season, can’t wait to get on that scale tomorrow, and into a bikini in January. The journey starts today, and I will be posting my healthy solutions along the way.

Wish me luck!

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Food, Weightloss

Goodbye Summer, Hello Life!

At the end of the third month of my plan to get bikini ready, I realized that I have actually missed bikini season altogether. As I was looking at the weather report for the last days of August on the Oregon Coast, I found that it was actually predicted to be rainy. Translation: I will not be able to enjoy even one day at a warm and sunny beach this summer because our hot summer days are done for. Consequently, I will not be engaging in your stereotypical summer activities which usually involve being half-naked in a body of water. Am I upset by this fact? I’m not entirely sure.

Mom on the grill for one of the last times this year.

My first emotional reaction to this fact is to be bummed that my efforts, specific to summer, have been pointless. Why make a plan to get skinny in the summer when I’m not even going to be squeezing myself into a bathing suit? But the other part of me is a little relieved. Shopping for swimwear is stressful and grueling to say the least. Trying on swim suits usually tears down my self esteem when my body isn’t quite where I’d like to be. And since the hot weather forces us to wear revealing tank tops and short shorts, I still had reason enough to slim down in the summer. And it’s not like I have to be in a bikini in order to enjoy results.

And beyond the demands of the summer season, I was ready to shed the 10 or more extra pounds that I have been carrying around since Christmas. Furthermore, this has been a lifestyle change that will help me to maintain the weight I’ve lost so far (I’m not entirely sure of the exact number of pounds).

While we’re on the topic of a lifestyle change, I would just like to add that I am aware that in my life I will make mistakes with my eating. I will have days that I do not work out, and my weight will most certainly fluctuate depending on the week. But life is about making mistakes and overcoming them.  I’m a bit nervous for what my next number will be, as I have been a bit lax on my eating lately. I don’t know if it’s because I feel  liberated by the spirit of summer, or if I just need to be reminded of why I don’t eat fast food, but I definitely have not been strict about my food rules. Obviously, I still make healthy choices and am not binge eating, but my diet hasn’t exactly been low-carb. Oh, and by the way, the other day I allowed myself…REAL LIVE ICE CREAM. And a week later, BURGERVILLE.

I’m not excusing my behavior, but my cheek and gums were sore from my dental appointment the other day (I had a filling replaced), so this was the justification I repeated to myself as I allowed Philip to treat me to Baskin Robbins. As for the Burgerville, I really have no excuse. I was desperate, weak, and completely out of line when I had the Seasoned Turkey Burger and a regular serving of french fries. I have taken the liberty of researching the nutritional content of my order, and I’m not happy with my findings: A grand total of 880 calories, 37g of fat, 1060g of sodium. Yuck.

It’s strange because I find that summer is a relatively easy time to go light on fatty foods and fill up on fruits and vegetables instead. All the best produce is in season: peaches, corn, blueberries, raspberries, summer squash, nectarines, lettuce, pineapple, rhubarb, and watermelon!

But sometimes shit happens.

I’ll reach my potential when I get there. I’m in no rush. Besides, my ultimate goal is to figure out how to get to a weight that I am happy with, that I can maintain in the long run, and to figure this out by the time I go to Maui in January.

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Weightloss

Weighing in

This morning I looked into the mirror as the realization of what today is came upon me; today is the day that I step on the scale and pray to Eywa that the  last month of tedious efforts has worked. The day before the big day, I discussed my nervousness with my roommate Jake.

“How much do you expect you lost?” he asked.

“I would be really happy if I lost 5 pounds,” I said.

Today is also the day that I try not to fall off the weight loss wagon if the number happens to be the same as it was 30 days ago. But most importantly, today is the day I try not to eat myself into an emotional oblivion if the number has increased.

After removing most of my sleepwear that could possibly add another half a pound, I softly stepped on the intimidating little fat-weigher. I tightly closed my eyes and fearfully tilted my head away from the scale. When my weight was balanced, I reluctantly looked down to see what the screen read.

p u r e   g l a d n e s s !

I was so excited and proud at seeing my number that it took me quite a while to do simple subtraction. “You lost 6.5 pounds” is what the scale said (more or less)! Upon learning this happy fact, I had to tell someone immediately. I bolted into the living room to gloat to Jake about my accomplishment.

This success definitely called for a new blog post. I had to tell my dedicated readers!

Now that I know that my eating and exercise habits have been working, I feel really encouraged to push even harder. Let’s see how far we can get on this plan. This is exactly the kind of healthy weight loss that I wanted for myself all along: making healthy lifestyle changes and losing weight in the process. Although losing pounds fast is usually the ideal, losing 6 pounds in a month is a healthy amount of pounds to lose for someone with my fitness level, and it is the result of a more than just diet and exercise. It is the result of a lifestyle change that is making me feel stronger, healthier, and more confident than I’ve felt in quite a while.

Losing that 6.5 pounds put me in the weight range that I want to be in. But seeing the number is actually just verification of my success. In all seriousness, I knew that I was making healthier decisions. I knew that I was getting more physically fit. And I knew that I could see a difference in the way I looked. But seeing that number makes it real.

The best part? The fact that I don’t feel like I’ve been starving myself! I definitely have been eating less, but my meals have all been filling and delicious. I still eat pasta, cheese, burritos, and dessert, but I do this in a healthy, moderate manner. (Veggie burritos are my new thing). This is certainly a lifestyle that I can maintain.

I’m not going to lie to you though. Last weekend was my friend Ryan Mowery‘s Birthday party, and there was cake. Ice cream cake. And not just any ice cream cake; it was homemade ice cream cake. One had a chocolate chip cookie dough bottom, and the other was cookies in cream. Since I hadn’t had much to eat for dinner, I decided to share a piece of cake with Philip. No harm in tasting the cake, right? But it was a larger piece than I expected, and somehow I ended up eating much more of it than I had intended.

Photo by Ryan Mowery

….There was also a piñata at the party…with candy in it. I ate a bit of that too. After the party I felt horrible and got down on myself. But since I really liked the cake and candy, I started to question whether I really cared about losing the weight. Maybe it’s worth it to be a little fatter if I can have cake, I thought. However, I was more preoccupied with my feelings of guilt and regret. I even blamed some of my friends for letting me eat the cake that which led me to think all those destructive thoughts.

Even though I had that slip up, I carried on with my plan and didn’t let that keep me from continuing with my healthy life. If a Christian commits a sin, does that make them not a Christian anymore? I don’t think so. Instead of falling off the wagon, I worked a bit harder to make up for the cake I ate. Because that’s just life.  Being rewarded with my weight loss has helped me to stop with all the obsessive guilt. I am more motivated than ever to lose another 6.5 pounds!

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Food, Weightloss

Calmly taste the cake.

It’s easy to become confused by holidays and special occasions. All that joyfulness and family time can put a big fat fog over your skinny vision. My fourth of July weekend did not include ice cream, BBQ ribs, elephant ears or cheeseburgers, but it was made even more confusing than normal after I watched Food Inc.

Fourth of July at the Blues Festival in Portland

I’ll just come out and say it: on the evening of July 3rd I became a Pescatarian. There are various reasons for this decision that I won’t elaborate on. I’ll just say that some are environmental, some are health-related, some are political and some are moral. But what’s relevant is that this added restriction more than mildly intensified my frustrations with food on July 4th. Not only was I taking sweet and fattening food off the table, but chicken and turkey were now also against the rules. Some way or another, I managed to end my mental suffering with a vegetarian plate of pan-fried noodles (I’m aware of what’s wrong here), and a bunch of watermelon.

The elephant ear was by far the most difficult to resist. I became wild with deliberation as I forced my friend Ryan O’quinn to look up the nutritional content on his smart phone. Remembering my earlier mishap with a three-foot long bag of kettle corn that my mother had provided that day, I decided against it. For the most part, I escaped the holiday’s enticing food stands, and opted for less fattening Independence Day treats like watermelon, fat-free Italian ice, and strawberry shortcake. But it wasn’t easy.

The holiday spirit is an evil fat man who will rudely try to make you forget about your goals. This Christmas I’m sure he’ll say that a few extra pieces of fudge are worth 2 or 3 pounds. On Halloween I expect he will offer weak excuses to swiftly but secretly scarf down the leftovers from the candy bowl. But you must pull yourself together and remember that he is a big fat liar!

Liar or not, the fat man makes a valid point: it is unavoidable that these treats will taste good. Very good. This is something you should say out loud and accept. But the beauty of it is that that’s all there is! It will taste good,  you will eat it, and then it will be gone. History has shown that you will then want to  eat even more, and will probably proceed to stuff your face until you are overcome with self hatred and regret. (Sometimes I play this  scenario out in my head as if to remind myself of the unfortunate end result.) The truth is that you will feel equally as satisfied after eating two bites as you would if you ate two servings.

This is why I think it’s good to taste things, but not to eat entire servings…or, in some cases, entire cakes. So this is what the book, Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself From a Lifetime of Dieting was desperately trying to instill in me! The author, Bethenny Frankel, preaches that obsessing over dieting mistakes and feeling guilty afterward is at the root of many women’s weight problems.

People are naturally thin because they are conscious of what they eat, their portion sizes, and their activity levels. When they eat a piece of cake, they don’t dwell on it for 24 hours, because they made a conscious–and composed decision to eat the cake. And after they’ve eaten the cake, they proceed with their healthy lives by exercising and eating just as they were before the cake. Ever notice how the thin girls at a Birthday party always ask for a small piece of cake rather than a normal one? That’s because they know they don’t need to have a big piece of cake to enjoy the taste.

In realizing this, I decided to taste the Birthday cake at my boyfriend’s Birthday party this June. I asked for the “teensiest tiny little piece,” which was actually more than I needed. It ended up being about 3 bites. Yes, of course the cake was good, but it wasn’t the best damn cake in the world. It was somehow very clear at that moment that it was not the last piece of cake I was ever going to have in my life, so I just tasted it, calmly. And it tasted good, but not so good that it was worth obsessing over for as long as I did.

I had built up the experience of having the fluffy and yet moist bite of cream cheese-covered cake in my mouth so much, that when it came to actually eating it, I was (dare I say it) disappointed. And this may be the most pathetic part of it all: my food fantasies surpass the food reality.

As it turns out, there is no need for desperation.  Allowing yourself small tastes can be a good thing when you realize that deprivation can lead to relentless cravings later on, causing you to spin into a psychotic and irrevocable binge that will ultimately lead to your demise. I think we can all recall this occurring at one time or another.

It only makes things worse when you drive yourself up the wall wondering what the hell the cake tastes like. Although cake is definitely against the rules, I will allow a bite or two if it will prevent me from flying off the handle. So once in a while you should allow yourself a taste. It’s probable that in doing so,  you will only solidify how NOT worth the calories it is.

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Food, Weightloss

Gloriously addicted

Praise Eywa! I have seen the light once again!

It’s been a sickeningly long time since I have felt such a strong sense of myself. My legs are strong, my mind is engaged, and I can once again tell the difference between hunger and sheer boredom.

Feeling connected to my body once again, I am now comfortable, content, and positively jazzed at the thought of eating healthy and exercising. I don’t really know exactly how long it has been, but for quite a while I was carrying on with my exercise out of reluctant obligation rather than religious devotion. A healthy lifestyle can be so gloriously addicting!

When you make a strong effort toward achieving a healthy body, your life sort of falls into place and you feel like you’ve got (or are at least getting) your shit together. A typical day for me looks like this: walk half a mile to class, participate in the learning process, have a light lunch, more learning, walk home, relax, go for a run, make a healthy dinner at a decent hour, socialize with friends. My life feels complete. It feels well-rounded, productive, structured, and fruitful.

As much as I’d LOVE to bash my head into a giant cake, eating healthy is now more satisfying than eating pizza, cake, and candy. It’s so empowering to know I’m disciplined enough to resist this junk.

However, it’s not all brute strength of the mind. I’m a sucker for cake and ice cream. A lot of the time it takes some premeditation and trickery. Meaning, I have to make plans to trick my brain into eating healthy. Because I am well aware of what I will be craving around 1 am (ice cream), I can manipulate myself into choosing healthier options like a Skinny Cow (which only has 1.5g of fat per sandwich!) by making sure that the fridge is always stocked with low-fat treats. (Oh, and on a side note, I just found out that you can get little tubs of Skinny Cow ice cream…Ben and Jerry’s Style! You know, when you have your individual bucket of ice cream that no one else is allowed to eat. And it’s low-fat!)

If I think I want to eat, but am not sure if I’m actually hungry, I usually try drinking water, or eating a small but filling snack to tide me over until dinner time.

My new favorite thing is almond butter. Between meals and before my workout, I usually need a little extra energy. So I toast half of a whole wheat english muffin and put about a table-spoon of all natural almond butter on it. Although it’s a small snack, it still fills me up so that I won’t binge, and it gives me enough energy for my workout. It’s also quite scrumptious.

Reassigning the meaning of the word “treat” to mean anything ‘good tasting’ can make you feel like you had a treat when, in fact, you ate something worthwhile. I now consider raspberries a treat and shamelessly eat a container(s) every day. And yes, I’m addicted to those too.

The difficulties of cutting out sweets, fat, and complex carbohydrates can be painful. But once you get over the hump and get all those unfortunate instances of weakness out of the way, you can get into a nice little rhythm. It’s kind of like when you get up to running two miles, and then if you keep going you just get in a nice little groove and it’s as if you could sustain it forever.

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Food, Weightloss

The power of NO

I’ve recently rediscovered the power of the word ‘no.’

It’s funny because I recently watched the movie, “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey (whom I love), and decided I wanted to start saying yes to more opportunities. Before a couple of days ago, the majority of things I said ‘yes’ to were opportunities to feed my face. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so much of a verbal agreement as it was a swift and hasty reach into my roommate’s bag of tortilla chips.

Today my inner fat girl challenged me with carbohydrates in the kitchen. My roommate Sarah, who was casually munching on some bite-sized pretzels, offered me some of her devil food. As I began to consider whether I actually had an interest in her offer, I stopped myself from furthering the thought and simply said, ‘no.’ By stopping myself from even deliberating the consumption of the pretzels, I gave myself a sense of security from the fact that I can assert self-control. It felt good. Really good. It felt so much better than eating something tasty without thought. Having that sense of power and control over my body and mind is really empowering. It’s a way of changing your inner fat girl into an inner thin girl.

It sounds overly simplistic, but being conscious of the food you take into your body is the most important part of losing weight. For instance, today I was aware– perhaps overly aware of all that I consumed. It may be helpful to have ‘no’ as your premeditated answer to all food offerings. That way your deciding factor for consuming your food will be if your body tells you it needs fuel.

So I’ve discovered that the value in being a Yes Woman is in the taken opportunities to exert physical activity and eat healthily.

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