Weighing in

This morning I looked into the mirror as the realization of what today is came upon me; today is the day that I step on the scale and pray to Eywa that the  last month of tedious efforts has worked. The day before the big day, I discussed my nervousness with my roommate Jake.

“How much do you expect you lost?” he asked.

“I would be really happy if I lost 5 pounds,” I said.

Today is also the day that I try not to fall off the weight loss wagon if the number happens to be the same as it was 30 days ago. But most importantly, today is the day I try not to eat myself into an emotional oblivion if the number has increased.

After removing most of my sleepwear that could possibly add another half a pound, I softly stepped on the intimidating little fat-weigher. I tightly closed my eyes and fearfully tilted my head away from the scale. When my weight was balanced, I reluctantly looked down to see what the screen read.

p u r e   g l a d n e s s !

I was so excited and proud at seeing my number that it took me quite a while to do simple subtraction. “You lost 6.5 pounds” is what the scale said (more or less)! Upon learning this happy fact, I had to tell someone immediately. I bolted into the living room to gloat to Jake about my accomplishment.

This success definitely called for a new blog post. I had to tell my dedicated readers!

Now that I know that my eating and exercise habits have been working, I feel really encouraged to push even harder. Let’s see how far we can get on this plan. This is exactly the kind of healthy weight loss that I wanted for myself all along: making healthy lifestyle changes and losing weight in the process. Although losing pounds fast is usually the ideal, losing 6 pounds in a month is a healthy amount of pounds to lose for someone with my fitness level, and it is the result of a more than just diet and exercise. It is the result of a lifestyle change that is making me feel stronger, healthier, and more confident than I’ve felt in quite a while.

Losing that 6.5 pounds put me in the weight range that I want to be in. But seeing the number is actually just verification of my success. In all seriousness, I knew that I was making healthier decisions. I knew that I was getting more physically fit. And I knew that I could see a difference in the way I looked. But seeing that number makes it real.

The best part? The fact that I don’t feel like I’ve been starving myself! I definitely have been eating less, but my meals have all been filling and delicious. I still eat pasta, cheese, burritos, and dessert, but I do this in a healthy, moderate manner. (Veggie burritos are my new thing). This is certainly a lifestyle that I can maintain.

I’m not going to lie to you though. Last weekend was my friend Ryan Mowery‘s Birthday party, and there was cake. Ice cream cake. And not just any ice cream cake; it was homemade ice cream cake. One had a chocolate chip cookie dough bottom, and the other was cookies in cream. Since I hadn’t had much to eat for dinner, I decided to share a piece of cake with Philip. No harm in tasting the cake, right? But it was a larger piece than I expected, and somehow I ended up eating much more of it than I had intended.

Photo by Ryan Mowery

….There was also a piñata at the party…with candy in it. I ate a bit of that too. After the party I felt horrible and got down on myself. But since I really liked the cake and candy, I started to question whether I really cared about losing the weight. Maybe it’s worth it to be a little fatter if I can have cake, I thought. However, I was more preoccupied with my feelings of guilt and regret. I even blamed some of my friends for letting me eat the cake that which led me to think all those destructive thoughts.

Even though I had that slip up, I carried on with my plan and didn’t let that keep me from continuing with my healthy life. If a Christian commits a sin, does that make them not a Christian anymore? I don’t think so. Instead of falling off the wagon, I worked a bit harder to make up for the cake I ate. Because that’s just life.  Being rewarded with my weight loss has helped me to stop with all the obsessive guilt. I am more motivated than ever to lose another 6.5 pounds!